If You’re Afraid of Antisemitism, I Have Good News

Dear Jewish people,

I know you’re afraid right now. I know it seems like the world is out to get you… like it’s built with an intrinsic hate towards Jews, and danger is gathering from every direction. “We’ve seen this movie before”, you may be thinking.

I get it. I grew up with the same belief. A long time ago, I believed that all the Gentiles were secretly Jew-haters; and if they were being nice to me, their bigotry was merely lying dormant, waiting for the right chance to erupt again. I believed that Jew-hate was an intrinsic quality of Gentiles, built into them at the genetic level, as the descendants of Esau and Ishmael, and that their DNA must have some sort of psychic reaction to the presence of Jacob’s DNA, producing anger in the brain, and that it was hard-wired. There was no “cause” of Jew-hate. It was simply a force of nature – like a hurricane or a blizzard. Storms don’t “decide” to happen. Nothing in particular “causes” them, except for Nature itself. Bigotry was a force in that category, and there was nothing further along that avenue to inquire about. And so therefore, the only way to stop or prevent antisemitism was to “fight” it. To intimidate it. To suppress it. To drive it out.

That’s what I thought. Just the same as you.

But at some point in my life, I noticed that it actually makes no sense. Something is wrong with the narrative. It denies basic aspects of “how humans work” – namely the fact that when people are mad at other people, it’s usually because they *did something* bad to them.

I know, I know! You want to say I’m suggesting to “blame the victims”, blaming the Jews, my own people, for inexcusable things that others did.

But back up a second…

Every other group of people besides us is expected to entertain the possibility that they are the cause of their conflicts. Name any people in the world, whether it’s the Cherokees, the French, the Koreans, the Arabs, the Zulu, or anybody. Whoever it is, we expect them to recognise:

1. That if they’re in a conflict with another people, they themselves might be causing that conflict, or at least contributing to it, through a pattern of bad behaviours that they’ve been doing for a while…
2. That they have a responsibility to sit down and have dialogue with the people they’re in conflict with, and listen to what they have to say – even if it’s accusatory – even if it’s angry – because this is how peace is made. Through dialogue and introspection. By both parties to the conflict.

All people are expected to recognise this. It’s part of being a healthy human, a healthy community, a healthy nation or people. It’s a skillset that everyone is supposed to be cultivating. It’s common sense.

But for some reason, a lot of us think we’re exempt from this responsibility. We think that Jews should never have to introspect… that we should never consider, even for the briefest moment, the tiniest possibility that we may have *done* something to *earn* others’ ire. Instead we were taught that the ire is always irrational, and always comes from nowhere except the “natural” force of antisemitism that’s always brewing inside all Gentiles, just because.

We were taught to never listen to Gentiles’ accusations against us, to never examine their arguments, to never place ourselves in their shoes and look at things from their perspective, and to never entertain the idea that their anger is *because* of anything we *did*. The mere suggestion that others’ anger at us could be *because of us* is taboo.

Right?

That’s how we were taught to think, and it’s how a lot of us still think today.

But… come on folks. This is a transparently immature way to relate with the world. It’s so obviously not right. Nobody should ever be categorically un-accusable.

The Swiss should never be un-accusable.

The Navajo should never be un-accusable.

The Yoruba should never be un-accusable.

The Jews should never be un-accusable.

It should always be acceptable to say “These people did this, are doing this, or have a pattern of doing this. Let’s talk about it.”

Guys, this means that it is morally acceptable for Gentiles to say Jews did things.

Including bad things.

We cannot be un-accusable. To claim un-accusability is insane. Such a claim indicates a belief of being a higher status than others – an elite status, a higher order of human.

And if you think that way about yourself, about the Jewish People, then Gentiles are reasonable and rational to be distrustful of us, and to view us adversarially. I mean, who the heck wants to have people around who think that any and all accusations of them ever doing any wrong are not only false by definition, but indications of ethno-religious bigotry on the part of the accuser? And thus they may never be accused of anything?

Who the heck wants that around?

Yet it has been inculcated in Jewish consciousness, through our stories and our schooling, to think this way. We were taught that any time a person accuses the Jews of anything, it’s automatically false, and unworthy of inquiry, and an act of bigotry in and of itself.

We were all taught that.

And it’s precisely what perpetuates our conflicts with other peoples, by preventing us from ever looking within to find the reasons for them. If you don’t know the reason for a conflict, you can’t solve it. The solving process requires cultural introspection – a skill that our families and teachers and rabbis told most of us is a vice, rather than a virtue.

We have to break out of this. It’s putting us all in danger.

The increased hatred against us that you’re witnessing now has been able to reach this size because we, collectively, have refused to use the one skill that is a prerequisite to all conflict resolution. We’ve been ideologically opposed to the one thing that could deflate the pressure out of the balloon.

And we have to grow up.

This is a maturity crisis for the Jewish people. To make it through this predicament, we have to evolve. We need that crucial skill now: introspection. We have to look at how we are causing the anger that’s growing against us.

Again, this is a skill that everybody is supposed to have. Not just us! Everyone! And by suggesting that we start using it, I am implying that Jewish people should be held to the *same standards* as other people. Not more difficult standards. The same standards.

It’s common sense: When people see dead children in the street, they naturally feel anger towards whoever did it. And when they see endless streams of photos and videos of innocent people getting murdered, en masse, for 20 months straight, it is *natural* to develop anger, and even hatred, at the people behind it.

This is common sense.

And the very first step to healing this divide is to simply recognize all this. It’s not “news” to the world. THEY KNOW. But if you, a Jew, acknowledge what they know, then you show yourself to be honorable. It humanizes you. It shows them that you really do have a soul!

I actually do this, myself – and it builds bridges. When I talk to people online whom you would call “antisemites” – for instance, people who say “All the Jews are bad, there’s not a single good one” – the first thing I say to them is…

…”I’m sorry for what we did.”

And if they say “too bad, I don’t forgive you”…

…then I say:

“And given everything we’ve done to your people, I don’t blame you. I don’t expect you to forgive us. But I’m still sorry.”

And immediately they soften their stance, and by the end of the discussion, they’re saying:

“Well I guess you’re one of the rare good ones. If the rest of them were like you, we wouldn’t have had any problems. I enjoyed this conversation. Best wishes to you in your quest to wake your people up.”

And just like that, I transformed a person from:

“All Jews are bad”

to:

“Most Jews are bad.”

And that may not sound like much, but it’s evolution. It’s a bridge. Maybe only a rickety bridge made out of bamboo, but a bridge nonetheless. And it can be upgraded.

And in case you’re wondering, yes, I also change people from “Most Jews are bad” to “Many Jews are bad”… as well as from “Many Jews are bad” to “Some Jews are bad.” That that last position is actually the correct one. It’s the truth. Some Jews are bad. And it’s the duty of the rest of us – the good Jews – to call out the bad ones, to condemn their bad behavior, to denounce their extremist ideology, and to ostracise them, to show the world that most of us are good people, by openly disavowing the bad ones.

This is exactly what most of us expect Muslims to do – to denounce fanaticism, and clean the extremists out of their ranks. To clean their house. And if we expect Muslims to do it, then we must also do it. Because equal treatment, remember?

Equal rules.

Equal standards.

Equal expectations.

Equal responsibilities.

If you truly believe that the correct goal is for Jews to be treated equally with other people, then this is what you should do. Hold yourself to the standard of “We Jews must clean up the evil in our own ranks.”

Just like everybody else.

And when I do this, I earn respect – even among people you think are irredeemably bigoted. It actually works. I have changed hearts and minds.

I’ve planted so many such seeds. And the point is to show you that even antisemites are usually rational people – in the sense that they can be reasoned with, when approached with the same respect (which you’ve never given them) that you would normally treat any person.

And if you respect a person, then…

…if they’re angry at you…

…you ask them why.

And you listen to their answer. And you have a dialogue with them. And you try as best you can to see things from their perspective. And when you realize that you did wrong, (or in this case, your People have done wrong), have the humility to admit it.

That’s how people act when they respect the person they’re talking to.

And when people are treated with such respect, they realize that they’re dealing with a real human, a person with a heart and soul – and their anger softens. When they see that you are a rational actor, they open to the idea of negotiating with you. This is how you build bridges, and make peace.

Not by calling people names. (like “antisemite”)

Not by shouting people down.

Not by intimidating people.

Not by censoring people.

Not by calling for harm against them.

Not by attacking them.

You make peace by talking to people, and by demonstrably considering the possibility that you are contributing to the cause of your conflicts with them.

I’ve done this, and I’ve seen the positive results.

Jew-hate is not an intrinsic quality of Gentiles. Jew-hate is not caused by Jewish genes, but by Jewish behavior. And that’s great news for us, because it means we have the power to change it.

You have the power to change it. Peacefully.

I hope you’ll use it.

Sincerely,

A fellow Jewish person